


après nous, le déluge

by undersea



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Post-Eagles Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 07:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undersea/pseuds/undersea
Summary: Years after the war, the days pass by like dreams.Edelgard reminisces.





	après nous, le déluge

There are nights when Edelgard feels as though the world has ground to a halt.

Pursued by dreams all too unpleasant as of late, she has taken to wandering the grounds long after the rest of the palace has fallen to slumber. Save for a few guards who deliver her a customary greeting, the place is deserted, quiet. She stands, solitary in the shifting shade of the courtyard.

Even without the anticipation of nightmares keeping her awake, she has long held a preference for being awake late at night. She does not dislike the company of others, but there is some respite to be found in being alone. And the quiet isolation of the night gives her some time to shrug off the weight of her duties, if only for a brief time.

Tonight, however, the stark quiet in the palace feels thick, stifling. If her mind wanders for too long she can easily imagine she is the only person left in the world. While this feeling is not always unwelcome, tonight it is jarring, setting her nerves on edge. She finds herself struck by an urge to see Byleth, sharp and immediate. The yearning hits her so strongly that it catches her off guard, tugs at her, almost takes her back to -

“El?”

Edelgard whips around, emerging from her spiral of thoughts, heart stammering. And, of course - there she stands, softly haloed in moonlight. Ethereal, as if she was summoned straight out of Edelgard’s dreams.

“Ah,” Edelgard breathes. Her voice forms as a tangible haze in the coldness of the night. “Hello. What are you doing up so late?”

Byleth could turn the question back on her, but of course she does not; of course, she approaches her with arms gently extended. She melts into her embrace without even consciously thinking about it. Buoyed by the feeling of her arms enshrining her waist, her heat, Edelgard smiles into the warmth of her chest.

“Are you alright?” Byleth whispers against the skin of her forehead before pressing a gentle kiss there. Edelgard pulls back, reaches up to sweep a lock of Byleth’s hair aside. She gazes at Edelgard with the same aching tenderness she always does, and yet it catches her off guard, as it does each time. It is too hot, too burning; sometimes she cannot believe she is capable of handling it.

“Don’t worry,” she says, meeting her eyes. “Come, let’s go to bed.”

* * *

“I was looking for you,” Byleth says quietly, as a way of finally answering her question. Edelgard smiles, shifts in her embrace to stare up at her.

“Couldn’t sleep without me?”

Her tone is lighthearted, teasing, but - “Yes,” Byleth returns, instantly. The earnest simplicity of her answer makes Edelgard flush.

“You vex me,” she mutters, hiding her face slightly in the warmth of her shoulder. Byleth is a gentle tangle of surprises - her demeanour is so placid it can easily be mistaken for stoicism, or even a complete lack of emotion. Yet Edelgard knows now, after all these years by her side, that she expresses all her emotions openly, as and when they come. Her memory is adorned with countless recollections of all the different expressions Byleth has ever shown her. She can recall them all in vivid detail, crystal clear, because there was a time when these memories were all she had left to rely on. There was a time when she thought they were all she’d ever have, she remembers with a pang; and even here, in the safety of Byleth’s arms, the weight of those five long years comes to rest on her shoulders once more.

She recalls the agony of that interim, as sharp as a dagger between her ribs, so much so that she has to take a moment to reground herself. There are times - usually at night, when she is shifting in between the realms of sleep and reality - where she imagines that their reunion, and all that has happened since, was only a dream. An illusion to grant reprieve in her cold absence. Edelgard has always considered herself rational, well-grounded, but there are moments where her fears are so threatening they come to feel real.

Slowly, she becomes aware of Byleth’s hands tracing languid circles on her lower back. The feeling returns her to the present. “You are alright,” she murmurs to Edelgard, voice low and soothing. “I’m here.”

“I know,” Edelgard says, and kisses her.

Edelgard did not dream of romance as a child. Even before she came to carry the heaviness of ambition and duty and loss, such things felt worlds away from her. They were not for her, even if she had wanted them to be. As she descended further into the darkness of the things she had to achieve, love slipped further away from her until it was all but out of sight. But when she kisses Byleth, she feels almost glad; if she had known that one day such warmth could, or _would_ be hers, the yearning for it would have swallowed her alive. She feels - impossibly, even childishly - that theirs is a love never experienced before by anyone._ Surely nobody else could handle this fire, this devotion,_ she thinks, tracing a thumb over the bare curve of Byleth’s collarbones,_ it would consume them._

“Do you want to go to sleep?” Byleth murmurs into the shell of her ear.

A moment of silence, and then she answers, “No,” hooks Byleth forward, closer into her embrace.

As Byleth deftly unbuttons the thin blouse covering her, a small, affection-shot smile plays on her face; the sight of it, struck silver in the thin moonlight, makes something monstrous seize Edelgard’s heart. She feels the force of all her ambition, all her resolve, all her devotion reorientate itself towards this one person before her. Edelgard has always given all of herself to what she wants, but this is the first time in her life she has - well and truly - allowed herself to actually want something so personal, so selfish as to stay by Byleth’s side through all of the infinite moons ahead. Barreled into by the realization that there is nothing, nothing in the world that she would not do for her, she slides to straddle Byleth’s legs as her clothing drops away.

Edelgard feels that the world drops away with it. Byleth’s eyes roam, coveting, up her body, and Edelgard is filled with a shy surge of desire. She remembers, dimly, when the idea of baring her body to Byleth felt insurmountable, the physical remnants of a shattered childhood feeling impossible to share in full with another. Now, her face flushes with adoration rather than shame, and she shifts into Byleth’s touch, closer, wants her to see everything, receive her for all she is. Byleth touches her with reverence, fondness shining even through her lidded eyes; her touch is gentle yet firm, as if she were handling the finest of porcelain. The affection emanating off of her pools hot and warm in the pit of Edelgard’s stomach. It fills her with a happiness so striking that it is almost too much.

And there is also some small voice in the back of her mind, repeating that she does not deserve this. Each time she pushes it down it gets a little more difficult to do so; the weight of all the things she has done makes it just slightly harder for her to move. Inevitably, of course, the day will come when she will have to unearth that voice, face it head-on. For now, however, she lets the soft slide of Byleth’s hand between her legs smooth it away, out of sight. Tonight, at least, she will allow herself this selfishness.

She lets it wash over her like a tide. “More,” she breathes, as Byleth presses her body flush against Edelgard’s own. Edelgard feels a white-hot flash of frustration that this is as close as they can ever get. She feels as though the two of them could fuse into one being and she still wouldn’t feel close enough. Again, the burn of her own emotion, the yearning pull of Byleth’s adoring gaze upon her face - they become a flame, and this time she is sure it will consume her.

But she has fire in her heart. She is of flame, and if Byleth’s burning core is rushing up to meet her own, she simply has to meet it, take it into her own being.

“It was a half life,” she gasps, trembling; “Those years without you - I was living half a life -”

The sentence dies, choked - Byleth nips gently, intimately, at the junction between her neck and shoulder. “But you kept going,” she says. Her voice is controlled, almost enough to seem unbothered, but Edelgard takes in the shake of her hands, the shortness of her breath and the wide intensity of her eyes._ I did this,_ Edelgard thinks, almost triumphantly.

“I had to,” Edelgard breathes. Her nails form tiny half-moons along Byleth’s shoulders. “But it was only because - I knew I had to see you again one day -” It is too much, and yet so paradoxically not enough. Byleth runs her nails down the arc of her back and her teeth graze Edelgard's throat and as Edelgard reaches her climax, the fire roars through her entire body; she exhales into Byleth’s kiss, smiling, accepts it breathlessly.

Later, after Byleth has slipped into sleep, blanketed by the warm afterglow haze of the late hour, Edelgard stays awake. Her eyes roam Byleth’s slumbering face, the slight flicker of her eyelashes as she dreams. She remembers when being able to witness Byleth’s sleeping face was a distant wish she thought she would never reach. Warmth washes over her, tugging her down into sleep, as she thinks of all the expressions of hers that she has yet to see.

The future stretches out in front of them like the hazy swathe of stars overhead. All the world is theirs. Even after the dawn comes, concealing the stars from sight, they will still be there above them somewhere, and the world will still be theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> me trying to play any route except eagles: i don't want to party i just want my wife
> 
> every comment is appreciated! find me on twitter at @zelos tweeting abt edeleth being warm and gentle 24/7


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